I honestly haven't been on my mat in a couple of weeks and it seriously feels like an eternity. Things have been busy lately: traveling on the weekends, appointments and mommy-hood. I find myself rather scattered (mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually) when my practice has been put on the back burner.
Well, yoga the other day began in supported fish pose-a heart opener. Our teacher talked about slowing down our breath, our movements and allowing ourselves to be in the moment..fully. I could have this reminder once a week and need it time and time again. Why is it so hard to slow down and be fully present ? Well that's the way the world is around us. We are always on the go and yes at a very fast pace. So, when we actually start to down shift, listen to our breath and connect, is when our truth comes out (for me at least).
Sitting in chair pose and breathing deeply is when something big happened-I was spoken to:
"I want to be free". I knew exactly what that meant and that was the first time I've heard my inner voice speak those words to me. I no longer wanted the ego to win with words of self sabotage. I wanted to give myself unconditional love like I do my daughter. I wanted to give myself credit for all that I do and know that I am successful. I wanted the inner dialogue of nonsense to stop and to just be free. In that moment emotions began to sore through my body, tears streamed down my face and I let it happen. I knew it was another layer peeling back and I embraced it. Often times we push these feelings down, because it's easier. We don't like to admit our flaws or our weaknesses. We like to stand tall, confident and paint a picture of perfection but nothing is perfect, no one is perfect.
Yoga for me is a place of truth. A time to connect and a space for healing. It connects my mind with my body and taps into who I really am. If we allowed ourselves one hour a day to be fully present imagine what could happen? What barriers could be broken down? What we could learn?